


Someone Like You

by ImagineBeatles



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 13:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15535128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineBeatles/pseuds/ImagineBeatles
Summary: Paul writes John a letter after John had left him and married Yoko.





	Someone Like You

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr in 2013

Paul looked the paper over for the last time. His eyes were red of the crying he did when he wrote the letter. The letter was wet with tears. Paul thought it made it even better. The ink on the paper was a bit smeared over the paper due to it, but it made it better. Then John could see how much he had hurt him.

Paul put the paper in an envelope and grabbed his long coat. He put it on and put the envelope in his pocket. He picked up his house keys and car keys and walked out. He didn’t say goodbye to Linda. She knew where he was. She knew him good enough to find that out on her own. Paul closed the door behind him. It was dark and raining. Paul looked up to the sky and let the raindrops fall on his face. He closed his eyes. He saw him and John running on the street late at night. Rain wetting their faces. Paul himself was only nineteen years old. He saw how John suddenly grabbed his hand and pushed him against a tree, his body covering Paul’s. He saw how John pulled him close against him, his hand right above his ass. He heard chuckles in his head. He saw how John leaned in and kissed him, lovingly. Like they were the only ones on the entire earth. He saw himself blush and wrapping his arms around John’s neck. He saw John pushing him further up against the tree, kissing down his neck. He heard himself moan. Paul felt a tear run down his cheek. He opened his eyes and got into the car.

            Paul pictured John in his head while he drove. He didn’t really want to, but he couldn’t help it. John just kept coming up.

‘I heard that you settled down. That you found a girl and you’re married now.’ Paul said to the John in his head. Tears were once again forming.

‘I heard that your dreams came true. Guess she gave you things, I didn’t give to you.’ Paul continued. He felt tears dripping down his cheeks.

‘Old friend, why are you so shy? Ain’t like you to hold back or hide from the light.’

Paul remembered when he had followed John on one of his dates with her. With Yoko. How he had only been sitting two tables away, in John’s eyesight. And that John still hadn’t seen him. Like he didn’t exist.

‘I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but, I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it.

I had hoped you’d seen my face and that you’d be reminded that for me it isn’t over.’ Paul said to the John Lennon in his head. Paul shook his head and pushed the tears away. He grabbed the steering wheel tightly and drove through the rain.

‘Never mind, I’ll find someone like you. I wish nothing for the best for you too. Don’t forget me, I beg. I remember you said: “sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead”. Paul said loudly. He tried hard not to start crying again.

He drove the last couple of miles and stopped in front of John’s house. The lights were off. Paul hadn’t expected any differently since it was already two in the morning. Paul walked to the front door. The letter box was right there. He took a deep breath and looked around, to make sure nobody saw him. This was between him and John. No one else needed to know. And certainly not the press. That would ruin both their careers. Yes, Paul still cared about John. Even though John was a complete ass and a total idiot, Paul still loved him and cared for him. Paul also knew he always would. That’s what hurt him the most. Knowing he’d always love that man, no matter what he did or said. No matter if he hated him. Paul would still love him.  Paul felt another tear run down his cheek as he opened the letter box silently, careful not to wake anyone. Paul got the letter out of his pocket. He brought it to the hole in the door. He couldn’t let it go. He just couldn’t. He sighed and opened the letter. He read it over one last time. He knew why he couldn’t send it. He already knew it when he wrote it, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Now he could. He got a pen out of his inside pocket and pressed the paper against the door. The rain made it wetter than it already was. Paul tried to block the drops of rain with his arm. It worked, sort of. Paul wrote the last couple of words as a _ps_. He clicked the pen back in and pushed the letter through the letterbox. Paul gave John’s door a kiss as if to say goodbye. He turned around and started walking back to his car. He turned around one last time. The image of him and John sharing a microphone came to his mind. The looks they gave each other, the closeness between them, just a little too close. He smiled to himself. The memory made him happy and sad. Paul didn’t want that.

‘You’d know how the time flies, only yesterday was the time of our lives and we were born and raised in a summer haze bound by the surprise of our glory days.’ Paul said to the window of John and Yoko’s bedroom as if he was talking to John.  He was actually hoping John would open the curtains and see him standing there.  Tears were now rolling down his cheeks. He didn’t care anymore.

‘I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited, but I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it. I hoped you’d seen my face and that you’d be reminded that for me it isn’t over.’ Paul shook his head. He was stupid. John would never take him back. He didn’t love him. Not anymore.

‘Never mind I’ll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too. Don’t forget me, I beg. I remember you said: “sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead’ Paul nearly shouted to the window. He sighed and turned around. He opened the car door and got in.

He bit his lip as he started the engine and drove away. He listened to the rain dropping on his window. He listened carefully. He didn’t want to admit it, but he missed John already. His best mate, his song writing partner, his lover, his everything.

‘Nothing compares, no worries or cares. Regrets and mistakes they’re memories made. Who would have known how, bitter sweet this would taste.’ Paul said to himself. The tears had stopped coming. It was over now.

 

John woke up with a terrible feeling in his chest. His heart hurt. He looked at the other side of the bed. Yoko was still asleep. Light was already coming in from window so it had to be morning already. John searched for his glasses and put them on. He looked at the clock opposite of the bed. Half past eight. John didn’t feel sleepy anymore and got out. He gave his wife a kiss on her head before he walked out.

Julian wasn’t downstairs yet. He was probably still asleep. John walked into the kitchen and put the kettle on. He could use a nice cup of tea. He also put some bread in the toaster and got some jam. He put the toast on a plate and smeared a big portion of  jam over it. He put the tea in a mug with sugar and milk and sat down at the table. He missed something. John looked around as he took a bite of his toast. Then he realized what it was.  Newspaper. John drank a bit of his tea before standing up and walking to the front door. John smiled as he saw his newspaper lying on the floor. He picked it up and saw something else. An envelope. It only said: John.  John raised an eyebrow and picked it up too.

            John sat down at the kitchen table and opened the envelope. Inside was a letter. John could see the ink was a little smeared and the paper still a little wet and places that had been wet had dried, which made it look old and wrinkly. John drank his tea as he unfolded the letter. His heart skipped a beat. He immediately recognized the handwriting. He had seen it too many times not to. Even if it was smeared all over the paper. It was Paul’s. John put his tea back on the table. He silently read the letter.

_Dear John._

_I heard you and Yoko have married. I’m happy for you._

_Of course I wish you were still here with me, but you’re not._

_I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you in any way. I should have supported you._

_But, I couldn’t. I still can’t. I’m not even sure if I ever will._

_You mean too much to me, John. **I’d rather see you dead, than to**_

_**be with another man.** I guess it’s true. I’m sorry I couldn’t give _

_to you what she gave you. I’m sorry for wasting your time._

_I’ll leave you alone from now on. You’re free to go wherever you want._

_I don’t care. Not anymore.  I now know you and me, johnandpaul ,_

_Lennon/McCartney , was just an illusion. Somewhere deep down_

_I knew it was too good to be true. I was happy with you._

_I’ve never been happier  than when I was with you. Even when_

_you were acting like a jerk  and called me names, when you shouted_

_at me and told me you didn’t love me. I knew you did love me, then._

_But now not anymore. I wish you did, you know. Because I still do._

_Never mind I’ll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for_

_you too. Don’t forget me, I beg. I remember you say: sometimes it_

_lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead…_

_I’m ready to let go of you now, John Lennon. Forever._

_Loves and kisses,_

_Your first love,_

_Paul McCartney._

John started at the paper and read it over again. He couldn’t believe it. Paul had actually left him. For good. John saw a tear drop on the paper. His own tear. He wiped the other tears on his face away with his hand. He couldn’t cry. This is what he wanted, wasn’t it? He was the one who wanted to break up in the first place. Then why, did he feel that broken? Why did his heart feel as if it was going to fall apart? John looked the paper over again. He now spotted something else. It was clearer to read, but scribbled hastily. John cleaned his glasses from his tears so he could see clear again. Paul had written something else on the bottom of the letter.

  1. _I love you and I’ll always will…_



John let his finger run over the words. He felt more tears forming in his eyes.

‘Never mind, I’ll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too. Don’t forget me, I beg. I remember you said: “sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead”. Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead.’ John said to the letter as if he was talking to Paul. Another tear reached the letter.

‘I love you too, Macca.’ John said as he kissed the letter lovingly.

‘I’ll never forget you. I’ll love you forever. And I wish  I had the courage to say it to your face instead of this letter.’ 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was graciously imported from tumblr by [CJD](https://chut-je-dors.tumblr.com/) who is a good friend and overall pretty amazing. Suck it, Puck


End file.
